I push everyone away It's a coping mechanism
by birthdaycake-storytime-fall
Summary: A short one-shot about Connie and Jacob. Connie knows that she loves Jacob really, but she doubts herself when she thinks that the two are getting too close to each other. Will Jacob be able to help Connie see what she really wants?


Connie and Jacob had been openly dating for 2 months and both of them appeared happy with the relationship. Jacob was constantly buying Connie little gifts such as chocolate and flowers whilst Connie would cook delicious meals on an evening or take Jacob to a restaurant. Connie had never enjoyed large romantic gestures so she was glad that she did not receive them off Jacob as she had done from previous 'lovers'. Connie was beginning to think that Jacob was different, but there was still one problem.

Connie trusted Jacob a lot and she was almost convinced that she loved him, but she could quickly feel herself becoming much closer to Jacob and she knew that this meant that she was becoming increasingly vulnerable to heartbreak.

* * *

Connie had been away from work at a conference for three days so she had not been at work, but she was due back that day. Most people had enjoyed Zoe running the department for the few days that Connie had been away as the atmosphere was much calmer and work was easier. Even though Connie had been more pleasant to work with since finding someone to love her she was still the same ice queen that she had always been. But, unlike many of the other members of staff, Jacob couldn't wait to see his girlfriend again.

When Connie had arrived at the hospital that morning she took a deep breath and sighed before she got out of her car. She was not anxious about returning to work but that morning her fears about Jacob had hit like a tonne of bricks. Was he getting too close to her? Was he right for her? Was this what she really wanted? There was a part of Connie that felt that she would lose everything if the relationship did not work out.

Connie could only imagine the amount of paperwork that would have grown to the size of a mountain since she had been away so she decided that she would have an admin day to work through it all and to avoid Jacob for another 24 hours.

The sound of her heels made head turn, but she chose to ignore everyone as she made a bee-line for her office and kept her eyes focused on what was directly in front of her.

* * *

Connie had spent the entire morning hidden in her office whilst she powered through the paperwork on her desk but by lunch time her hand was cramping painfully and she was forced to take a temporary break.

Connie had brought a salad, a bag of crisps, and a small chocolate bar with her to work for her lunch to keep her energy levels up because paperwork was surprisingly tiring, despite the fact that there was barely any movement involved. She picked up her fork and began to eat her salad just as there was a knock at her office door; her first interruption of the day.

Connie sighed before allowing the person to enter, knowing that it would be Jacob; no-one else in the department would knock with as much power as he had done.

"Connie. Are you busy?" Jacob asked as he stepped into the office and closed the door behind him.

"Well, I've been working through all of this paperwork all morning. I'm just taking a lunch break at the moment. Paperwork really does work up an appetite." Connie replied bluntly, not giving away much information.

"Will you still be in here after lunch?" Jacob asked, wondering if Connie was alright because she seemed to be off.

"Yes." Connie's reply was harsh and to the point, which Jacob hadn't really expected from her.

Jacob felt slightly put off by Connie's detached responses, especially since he had missed her a lot over the past few days. "Is everything alright, sweet cheeks?" Jacob attempted to use his nickname for her to cheer her up.

"I'm fine. It's Mrs Beauchamp when we're at work." Connie's icy mood had been a lot less common since she had been with Jacob, but today it seemed that it was back and worse than ever before.

Jacob tried not to get upset or angry with Connie because he didn't want to make the situation, whatever it was, worse but he didn't think that she should be allowed to get away with acting like a bitch towards him without a valid reason. He turned towards the door but instead of leaving, as Connie had expected him to do, he locked it. "What's wrong Connie?" Jacob asked calmly, trying not to upset Connie in case he caused a problem or an argument.

"Nothing." The sharp tone of Connie's voice contradicted her answer.

"Connie, please talk to me. I want to help you." Jacob was almost pleading with Connie to listen to him.

After a pause Connie replied "I'm sorry." She sighed deeply before continuing her response. "I push everyone away." Connie almost whispered and, had there been anyone else around, Jacob would have struggled to hear what she had said. There was a long silence between the couple.

"But w-" Jacob began, before being cut off by Connie.

"It's a coping mechanism." Connie placed her pen on the table and wiped a tear away from her eye. "I did it with Grace; I do it to every many that gets close to me. I'm doing it to you." She closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair slightly. "I don't think that I can handle being hurt again."

Jacob sighed internally and sat on the sofa as he beckoned Connie to join him so that the two would have space to sit and have a cuddle.

Connie stood up slowly after a drawn out minute and sat next to Jacob as she rested her head against her chest. She apologised again, but she did not move. Connie felt embarrassed as she was letting Jacob see how vulnerable she actually was.

* * *

When Connie and Jacob had both finished their shifts they met just outside the entrance to the emergency department. Jacob greeted his girlfriend with a warm smile which was returned before Connie leant in to kiss him. Connie's fears had almost vanished after their talk in her office and she felt a lot more comfortable around him.

The couple decided to go back to Connie's house and order a takeaway pizza to eat as the watched a comedy film and spent the night in each other's arms.

 **Just a sweet story that I've been writing whilst I've been bored in classes, but I'm proud of it. I was out all day so I haven't done any writing but I hope to get some done throughout the week. Hope you're all okay.**


End file.
